“Χορός στις παραλίες, πανικός κόσμος στις πλατείες…” You can’t teach that kind of songwriting, can you? Although, in fairness, as I ripped it off the Youtube bumf that accompanied the video for Tamta’s (Feat. A.Deiksimos) ‘Agapo Wanna Play’, it could say anything… which proves that things can indeed get lost in translation. I’m sure the Greek (?) kids lap this up. This Brit kid can’t stomach it.
[video:chrisgoulis]
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Hey, want to hear a Korean child sing The Beatles even though he can’t speak English? Want to see it with video that suggests the poor little mite has been imprisoned in a Fab Four-themed cell for the duration of his short life? Want to feel a little worried that he’s going to be forced to don a Sergeant Pepper outfit as soon as his parents can find one that fits?
This is your lucky day.
[video: heroisborn]
OK, this is in English, so it kind of breaks one of the unwritten rules of our Lost In Translation section. But apart from that, it’s as foreign as crapping into a hole in the floor.
Armi and Dany, from Finland, croon their way through this sub-Eurovision travesty backed by what can only be described as slightly deranged dancing cult members. I’m sure someone prances across the floor holding a toaster at 2:04. Watch this and realise that even if Let Loose were to return and go to number one for 12 weeks, we ain’t got it that bad.
[video: Aarniza]
What happens when you mix a sniff of latin brass, undiluted pop and… uh… Chinese? Obviously, you get a sound so horrendous that you rue the day you were born with ears. It’s funny when you hear processed pop from other countries because you have to judge it for what it is. There is no preconceived notion of what you should think. With all the marketers and TV coverage outta the way, it stands there naked and easy to judge. Sadly, I don’t know who this video is by or what the song is called, but frankly, that’s not a bad thing.
[video: sheetsquirrel]
I’d love to tell you more about Ivan Mládek and his jaunty Czech pop hit, Jožin z bažin… but I can’t. Firstly, I don’t speak the lingo and secondly, it’s too odd to pick to bits. The video features dancing that looks like a cross between needing a wee and mild Parkinson’s, and has a bloke making a weird noise with a bit of hose or something. Very peculiar indeed.
[video: RLyong]
I’d love to write you a witty word or two to accompany this video, but I can’t. It’s just too odd. The video says everything you need to know about it. My. Name. Is. Potato? I thought it was Rita Pavone?
[via ElectricRoulette] oh… and [video: sampea]
We all know someone who always bangs on about how music was so much better back in the olden days before computers started programming robots to rap into Pro-tools iPods, or however it is music is made in the 21st century.
Over the page you will find proof that people who say such things are a) silly over-generalisers, and b) twats. OK, b) may be a little harsh, but tell me this - who, in this day and age, would record and release a record full of increasingly maniacal laughter? OK, Aphex Twin would. But who else?
“The Parlophone laughing record” - that’s what it’s called on YouTube, which makes it more or less fact - apparently dates back to 1925, and perhaps shows what a world approaching global depression sounds like. If EMI release something similar this year, you know it’s time to stock up on canned goods.
Check out the hysterics over the page…
I don’t know what the hell this is. Loco Mia are a Spanish boy band (although this shower are hardly ‘boys’) who dress up like matadors, twirl fans and dance to sub-’90s backing tracks. This is an appalling slice of pop-pap, and check the guy who looks like Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen, fan blowing through his locks, who seems to rap “Locomia, get your body groovin’, get up on the groove, get into the mood, get it? Locomia, get your body movin’ and your knickers should be groovin’ to the seat, you get me?” If this is what sells in Spain, East 17 should get over there fast!
[video: h9ooo]
Dug Taqwacore yet? You man enuff huh punk? Well, for those that don’t know, Taqwacore is punk music dealing with Islamic culture. Originally conceived in Michael Muhammad Knight’s novel, The Taqwacores. The name is a portmanteau of hardcore and the Arabic word Taqwa, which is roughly denotes fear and love of the divine. Bands first on this were The Kominas (in video below), 8-bit, Vote Hezbollah and the all-girl rockers Secret Trial Five. According to the scene’s mandate, The Prophet Muhammad was punk… so why not follow suit? Either way, singing songs about terrorism and box cutters is gonna send everyone running for cover. Do you get it? Do you dig it? [video zlyoga]
Hands up if you think the word ‘prog’ is filthy. In some cases, you couldn’t be more wrong. The beginnings of ‘progressive rock’ were wonderful (whaddaya think The Floyd are man?), however… it all went very wrong. From Rick Wakeman on Ice (seriously) to drum solos that last for an entire side of an LP, prog, at some point, completely lost the plot.
One of the biggest rock wrongs in history is the ludicrous Yngwie Malmsteen (watch his Icarus Dream Fanfare with Orchestra video below for proof). Taking the soul of a solo and replacing it with maths and clinical accuracy. Note, maths is not rock ‘n’ roll. Prog gone wrong is loved by men in tight trousers who smell of Blue Stratos. The rest of us? Running for cover.
[video blaubeer666]
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