When I was a child I used to sing along to records of Disney movie soundtracks. I remember when George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex” was deemed too risqué for radio. How times done changed, my kittens, how times done changed.

These days YouTube is littered with videos of little kids being filmed singing and dancing along to songs with delightfully inappropriate lyrics. You’ll see them singing along to Akon and Fergie, wondering if the parents - who are nearly always behind the camera egging them on - will next enter them into one of those icky child beauty pageants.

You just know somewhere there’s a blog or a forum of paedos sharing this stuff with “like-minded” souls, too. So let’s join them! Here are five cute/disturbing/funny/miserable clips of children singing Flo Rida’s “Low”, the poignant tale of a lady - in possession of a big booty, of course - being plied with alcohol, drugs and stacks of dollar bills by Mr Rida one evening in a local nitespot.

Take it away, kids! :(

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Posted by Stuart Waterman on Monday August 24th, 2009 at 8:00 am

Yeah Yeah Yeahs’ more populist new material hasn’t yet resulted in choreographed snow-sprinkled dance sequences on floating blocks of ice, but fortunately YouTube user Johnnnayy has created just that scenario so we can all see how amazing it would be.

The already-brilliant “Zero” reaches mind-boiling levels of goodness round about the point where you see the drummer using huge sticks of fire, and continues to delight for the remaining too-few minutes.

It also raises the question: how long do we have to wait for Karen O to start dresssing like an eastern European Eurovision entry? Petition?

You’ll be wanting to watch this.
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Posted by Stuart Waterman on Friday April 3rd, 2009 at 6:00 pm

Not sure what that comment up there means exactly, but it made me LAOFMAOFOLR. It’s in response to Star Pilots’ relentless hookmonster of a pop nugget named “In The Heat Of The Night”. Or, more, accurately, it’s in response to a fan video of the song which features those famously oily volleyball scenes from Top Gun.

Because “In The Heat Of The Night”, for some reason, doesn’t have an official video as yet despite having floated about on the internet for about a year already.

UPDATE: It does now, and you can see it below. It features soapy womens.

Not that it really requires one - it’s not one of those numbers where you’re like “hmm, this euro-dance single is a bit oblique, I require soothing images to ease myself into its unique world”.

Nah. It’s a stomping 80s-worshipping cheesebugger which will dominate branches of TopShop, provincial bowling alleys and - if it gets a video - The Box for the entirety of summer 2009. It’s not officially out on our shores until May 11th, but you can check it out by lowering your line of vision and clicking the play button belowabouts.

Posted by Stuart Waterman on Thursday April 2nd, 2009 at 10:00 am